Mother's Day

Mother's Day 

{I had a feeling I could not deny that I needed to write, however, my thoughts are so jumbled and seemingly not connected whatsoever.}


I find it difficult to muster all the beautiful and sacred emotions I am feeling along with postpartum hormones. This truly has been such an amazing two weeks and for the first time in a while, I am at a loss of words to adequately express how I feel. Nothing could have prepared me for the amount of love I feel for my sweet newborn son.

I don't want this post to turn into my son's birth story for a variety of reasons. I am totally and completely passionate about birth and pregnancy and motherhood- I just haven't found a way to best express our experience. Since my previous posts were so much about my pregnancy, and I have had so many ask, here is a little bit about how the birth went.

 I am grateful I experienced ALL kinds of birth on his birthday. I was medically induced due to having an 'unfavorable cervix' and a less than optimal heart rate for our baby a couple days after my 41 week mark. I then labored for 11 hours unmedicated which was the most empowering and incredible experience! I absolutely LOVED labor. My husband's counter pressure, the jacuzzi in the hospital, my birthing ball, and encouraging words from my nurse made my experience magical. It was not painful, it was very BIG and powerful. After pushing for two hours, Atticus' heart rate dropped and it was quickly decided to have an emergency c-section to get him here safely. I won't go into details for any part of this journey here at this time, but if you have ANY questions about Pitocin, going unmedicated (without any medicine to administer pain relief.. which was honestly incredible!!) or c-section, I am here to offer what I have experienced and learned along the way.

We all like having answers. My sweet baby is still on oxygen and we all would like to know why. The nurses say it was because his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice and he is still recovering from the trauma of both going through labor and a c-section. However, my doctor said about 25% of babies he delivers, the cord is wrapped around their necks, they are able to deliver vaginally, and do not need oxygen afterwards. They did every test and lab you can think of in our time in the special care nursery (a small hospital's version of the NICU.) Everything came back looking completely normal. My doctor thinks it could have been a mix between my baby's fairly large head and my pelvis.

Either way- I have come to a peace of not knowing exactly why things are the way they are. Today, I would like to celebrate what we do know!

I know that being a mother has softened and stretched my heart. I know that our sweet son is a miracle and a blessing to have in our family. I know that the family is ordained of God and that through His plan, we can be together forever! I know that my gratitude and appreciation for my mother has grown beyond leaps and bounds. Motherhood truly is the most rewarding job I have ever had. Instead of working 40 hours a week, I now work 168 hours a week for the absolute best reason.

I would like to celebrate ALL women. Because Mother's Day is for ALL women. When Adam was in the Garden of Eden, he called the woman Eve because she was the mother of ALL living. But Eve was not a mom when he said that. She had never given birth nor taken care of a child before! For this cause, I know that ALL women are to be cherished and celebrated as we offer a unique and beautiful contributions to this world.

So here is a celebration and dedication to the women in my life who have positively influenced me and lifted me to become who I am today.

My mother. Mom is the first to celebrate my joys, grieve with me in my moments of sorrow, and offer to hang out with me for all the in-betweens. She has always been my number one support and cheerleader. In everything. From dance recitals, dating (yes, she was always VERY involved in my love life, even ask my husband ;) performances, stressful days at college, rejection letters, acceptance letters, etc. She always wanted to be sure opportunities were available to me. She was willing to work hard to offer me a full life. She is an incredibly compassionate and experienced nurse who has blessed so many different families. She truly is a warrior. She has faced many challenges with her health over the years like a champion and has never lost her spunk through it all. I love her and I honor her. Thank you mom for everything you continually do for me!