What do these experiences have in common? The majority of 'advice' or notions were fear based for BOTH. Ideas like... We can't go to Mozambique, that's dangerous! And then que the never ending game of "What if". What if we don't make it there safely? What is something terrible happens? What if it is not like you expect it to be? What if you get harmed while you are there? What if you don't come home? The terrible downward spiral of negativity literally paralyzed me on multiple occasions before actually stepping foot on Mother Africa once again.
The majority of thoughts or advice about pregnancy and starting a family were the same. FEAR based. What is going to happen to your marriage? Postpartum depression. Que ALL the terrible and horrific stories of painful and excruciating births. Scenes of women screaming in agony in the delivery room, yelling at her husband YOU DID THIS TO ME. And having people tell me that my body, my mind, and EVERYTHING about me will never be the same. EVER. AGAIN. (in the most negative way possible.)
Well, let me tell you one thing. I love the African continent. I went to Zambia for my first time when I was 18 years old. Upon coming home, I was a changed human being. I viewed life in a different light and I knew I needed to go back. Going back with my husband was one of the biggest dreams I had for my future. Our internship together as a married couple exploring Africa was one of the greatest things we have done for our marriage.
It was such a miraculous, soul stretching, refining, and incredible journey that we are excited to continue to travel and serve throughout the rest of our lives. We fell in LOVE with the people, culture, lessons of self-reliance, and exploration of this beautiful world that God created for us to enjoy! I specifically remember one night, I was reading a talk given my Pres. Uchtdorf in our kitchen, listening to the little feet of mice and rats on our roof, eating a bowl of cereal, when this phrase struck a deep chord within me that changed me forever. "Let us set aside our fears and live instead with joy, humility, hope, and a bold confidence that the Lord is with us." I stopped reading and was reminded that the only reason we weren't going to come on this awe-inspiring adventure was FEAR. That was it. I had a serious self-reflection that night as I pondered.... what would I miss out on if I allow FEAR to drive my life? What I have learned since that experience is that you get what you focus on and you will ALWAYS find what you are looking for. If you are living in a state of negativity, pride, ignorance, and bias, you will continuously find the negative things of the world. BUT OH WHAT A SHAME. This world is FULL of beauty and wonder- to think you would miss out on all those opportunities. In our time in Mozambique, we made life-long friends, experienced a beautiful culture, learned extremely hard lessons that have refined our characters and our marriage, and walked away with a different perspective of life and a greater gratitude for family. While in Swaziland, we learned the importance of nature and seeking for the beauty in all things. We learned that peace is a luxury that we can experience on a daily basis. In South Africa we were humbled by learning their recent history, the importance of temple work, and having fun on the journey. I personally experienced a level of stress I hope to never experience again, but that is because I did not fully understand how to cope with the stress.
I am currently a week shy of being 8 months along with our strong, healthy, and VERY active son, Atticus John. It is amazing. The only thing that I can compare it to is when I received my mission call to serve in Bolivia, Santa Cruz. I was immediately overcome with the feeling of YES. Of course! I love Bolivia. I love all the people there! The love and connection that I felt for a people I hadn't met yet was real and deep. This is how I feel about Atticus. Although I have not met him yet, I feel intimately connected to him and I love him, heart and soul. He has become an integral part of our family and we are so grateful for his development and how God has continually walked by our side, training us so we can become the parents he intends us to be. This has been the most empowering and positive experience I have thus gone through! I think how truly phenomenal the female body is. I think how PERFECT the plan of salvation is and that family is at the very core of the plan of happiness. I think of God and how he loved his Son and US so much.
Now, whenever I tell ANYONE that I in fact LOVE being pregnant, I get quizzical looks, the rolling of the eyes, or even a tinge of hatred of disgust. I get asked, oh so it has been quite easy for you, eh? HEAVENS NO. Throwing up every day for a few months, experiencing all the symptoms pregnancy offers and more... that doesn't sound EASY. But that is just it!! Why does something ENJOYABLE, even pleasurable, or something that we can feel the utmost gratitude for, have to come EASY to us?
If we but understood ONE concept in this life, imagine the level of our contentment throughout the daily struggles and blessings we encounter. Hard is not BAD... hard is just hard. If something is hard, that doesn't mean it should be avoided, dreaded, endured, or negative. Most of life isn't easy anyway... so why are we waiting to relax, celebrate, ENJOY when times are easy if the percentage of easy in our lives is rather LOW? Let us love TODAY. No matter what today offers. I LOVE Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin for MANY reasons. Whenever he spoke, I felt that he was so close to our Savior, Jesus Christ. I also loved watching his unique friendship with Pres. Thomas S. Monson. He said it best with, "Come what may.. and LOVE it!" What sound advice that truly makes a significant impact on ALL that we do!
Is it going to be hard? OF COURSE IT IS! Is it going to be worth it? Absolutely! If we ever keep our vision FIXED on the Savior and our families.
I love this!!’ Thank you for sharing 💗
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